Don’t do it. Words of wisdom I should have listened to myself – but my brain cells have been seriously depleted due to my attempts to drink my way through this unfortunate and epic time, so I traveled.
San Diego to Boston. Two flights and probably 10 years taken off my life from the stress of it all.
It began with a rough 6am wake up call after a night of hydrating with bottled wine and solving the worlds problems with Leah. Next was an even rougher ride to the airport with my bf who I had been fighting with for 2 days and was leaving indefinitely to head east– a solid and silent start.
On the positive side, no traffic, no crowds, security smooth and the shops were open – I do some of my best shopping in airports and I was not disappointed, scarves, lotions and hats secured. My wine haze was still with me but I refrained from getting a tea for fear I’d have to pee mid-flight, actually this truth is that the Starbucks line was too long.
Then I heard my name announced on the speaker and as I walked to the gate I was thinking I was going to be offered $1,000 to be bumped from the flight and I would take it and go back to my bf and be nice and fly first class another day…no – I had dropped my wallet and a good Samaritan handed it in – with everything in it. Thank you kind person.
Alrighty. I pulled myself together and got on the plane. All was looking good, really good, middle seat empty, plane not crowded, everyone in masks - but ever so subtly people kept coming down the aisle – and not just people, 2 dogs and 10 babies. I was texting my sister describing the scene to which she kept asking, “Who travels with babies during a pandemic?”, I didn’t want to find out. I usually love sitting next to babies, great distractions when flying, but I prayed no mask-less baby stopped in my row. My nerves were getting fried with each new person walking down the aisle. When this poor woman in a state-of-the-art multi-filtered mask came to take the middle seat next to me I mindlessly asked, “What happened to the empty middle seats?” She didn’t speak, she didn’t touch anything, and she didn’t move for 2 and a half hours, and I mean did not move, it was impressive.
We all deplaned in Dallas where I ran to pee which stressed me out because I was planning on not peeing all the way across country and I got so flustered I managed to get on the tram heading in the wrong direction. This brought back PTS from a childhood trip to Disney World when I urgently needed the bathroom and we got on the wrong monorail. That didn’t end so well. I did make it to the gate in time – but … I had lost my boarding pass and had to get in a line to get a reissued one.
This flight was also choker block full however miraculously the one seat open was the middle seat next to me and a hipster dressed in camouflage, which for whatever reason I found comforting. As I was positioning my bags and tennis racket, the stewardess appeared and questioned “Prudence Horne?” – again, I am thinking $1,000 and first class! No, she handed me my passport. Thank you to another kind person.
I like to think of myself as a seasoned traveler…not so much during a pandemic.
Boston was a welcomed sight.
